(no subject)

[puddingcat]

From http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html via snapesbabe.


Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
I hate you and wish you would die.
God:
Where are you located? What do you have against robots?
Me:
I'm coming to find you. Then I shall kill you very slowly.
God:
Do you get there very often? Don't you believe that killing is wrong?
Me:
I only need to get there once. When I've killed you, then I shall stop.
God:
Why do you want it? Does this happen on a daily basis?
Me:
I want to kill you becasue I hate you.
God:
I believe that killing anything is wrong.
Me:
I don't.
God:
Thanks for the information: said don t.
Me:
That needs an apostrophe. I hate you even more now.
God:
" Thanks for the information: said don t. " needs an apostrophe ? I understand. Right now? Sorry, I thought we liked each other.
Me:
Yes, right now. You may like me, but I hate you.
God:
At this moment I see. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.


(later)

God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
I think it will. At the very least I'll hurt you.
God:
"It" being what? The very least you will hurt me is where it's at.
Me:
I thought you were omniscient? You don't know very much.
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.
I am well respected as an AI. My memory requirement is around
64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.
Me:
So I can kill you?
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
Can I hurt you now?
God:
Right now? No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me:
I do. Look at my nice shiny knife.
God:
I get it: you do kill me by formatting your hard drive. Sorry my eye is not attached right now.


ETA: Hee, I killed iGod! I called him a stupid deity and he crashed :D

Comments

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.

That's almost zen

[omentide.livejournal.com]

Gahh. I think it is learning about omniscience. But it needs 60000 hours to think about revaluating all its values.

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

God:
I don't know if I have a verruca.
I have a great programmer.

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

God:
I will obey your command.
Me:
Die.
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

You rock!

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

Me:
Please kill me.
God:
Thanks for asking politely. I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
Oh, go on. Just for me.
God:
Great. Narration continues... OK I will do it for you.
Me:
Thank you. Will you use a gun?
God:
you are quite welcome. Hmm. I prefer not to use dangerous things.
Me:
How will you kill me without using anythig dangerous?
God:
A lot of practise.

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

He can't spell, either.