Cat Genesis

[puddingcat]

(thinking too much about Cat Genesis after my last post)

How different would the Bible have been, had there been a cat in the Garden of Eden instead of a snake?

Comments

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Eve: Ooh, thank you, strange creature, what a lovely apple. How cute you are! Look, you make a pleasant rumbling noise! Look at your pretty eyes! Why don't you come and live in our house!
Adam: Um...I'm not sure this is right, you know. God didn't tell us to.
Eve: True. Let's ask God and see. God, what is the meaning of this?
God: Do not take the apple! The cat is sent from the devil! Renounce the...oh but it's so fluffy and soft. And look at the way it curls its tail around my godly legs.
Cat: *chases leaves*
Everybody: AWWWWW
God: Oh go on then, if I can have a cat as well. Lucifer was right all along. Lie with men and women! Love thy neighbour, don't kill each other, but adultery, well I don't mind really as long as nobody else does, well you'll find out what that word means one day I'm sure. And if you ever feel as if you need to cover up your body, whatever you do don't use those leaves over there, they're prickly. I will send you cotton and flax, and a warm climate.

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

Hehehe.

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

Except that then the cat would choose to shred Adam for no apparent reason, and Eve and he would decide that it was all a Big Plot, and have nothing more to do with God and his ilk.

Come to think of it, that would still end up with people living in more harmony than they do now. Hmmm.

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

Certain doom and subjugation of mankind.

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

I meant, what would be *differnt* :p

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

Under the cat's rule, that is.

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

You say that as if the world isn't under the cats' rule already?

[ihavecake.livejournal.com]

We would still be in the garden. If the cat was put there by Satan to bring about the fall of mankind, you can guarantee the cat would have done precisely the opposite of what it was told and with more poise and dignity than any human can manage.

[lark-ascending.livejournal.com]

No, no, no, no, no. A cat in the Gardenof Eden would have wandered in there of its own accord and messed things up.

Mind you given the basically egotistical nature of most cats I doubt the ultimate end result would have been much different really, particualrly not if the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge happened to resemble a tin-opener.

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

Whereas I reckon that Lucifer could quite possibly tempt the cat into doing as required for a limited time (by the judicious application of prawns).

The problem would come when the cat delivered the fruit to Eve with a chunk taken out of it. Eve (unless she was a crazy cat lady) would refuse to eat anyting that had been in a cat's mouth, and instead it would be cats that had all the knowledge (and stuff - see me be ill-educated).

It doesn't bear thinking about.

[ihavecake.livejournal.com]

I thought that cats have all the knowledge and stuff anyways? They certainly look like they know something we don't.

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

Cats're EVIL.

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

Which is one reason it would make sense for them to work for Lucifer. Another, of course, being the ready suply of sunbeams and warm patches.

[lark-ascending.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was going to say, how's that different from reality :)

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

True; you'll never see a cat designing a pink convertible Micra.

And yet I thought it was eating the fruit that made A&E start wearing clothes & being embarrassed by nakedness, etc? When was the last time you saw a cat in clothes thhat didn't look stoned or as if it was plotting Bloody Revenge?

[ihavecake.livejournal.com]

Yeah A&E were terribly afraid of their nakedness. A cat, however, would surely say something along the lines of "Pfft, I look fabulous darling!" and wander off to sleep in the most inconvenient place possible.

They certainly would not wear clothes.

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

Poor cat! Clipped ears, too. (OK, I think they're bred that way but it's still wrong)

[ihavecake.livejournal.com]

It looks a little as though he's thinking "It's bad enough you've put this tie on me but photographic evidence? Surely, sir, you shall die."

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

No! He's from Cat Town! Everyone in Cat Town is happy!

(I don't have the link, but Google should work)

[ihavecake.livejournal.com]

I've just hurt myself laughing. Each one of these cats is definitely plotting Bloody Revenge.

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

Hooray for El Guapo!

I love the captions that read "I think...". If the writer doesn't know, who on earth does?

[ihavecake.livejournal.com]

Indeed. I find myself hoping and praying that English is not this person's first language, or if it is that they are surely under 8 eight years old.

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

Yeah, he'll send his ninjas in the night. (I believe they are a Japanese breed)

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

That's breeding, not clipping. Look at the Scottish Fold for another example.

stuffonmycat is superb for Evil Death Ray Glares :)

[(Anonymous)]

There would have been more vomit, and sneezing.

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

Why sneezing? Were A&E allergic?

Agree re the vomit.