Ahaha yes, Renji. No-one ever dies in Bleach so he's okay there, but man, his life sucks. c/p-ing his section from Confessions as some of the other parts are spoilery:
Renji: "All right, I've seen the light, I know where I stand: the most tragedy-prone man in the thirteen divisions. Kira knows where he can stuff it. All he does is cry, if I so much as appear in a fic I have a 50% chance of NOT DYING! I never get the girl - or the boy - even if I did it's only the body never the heart, and if it's body and heart sure enough I'm dead at the end. And - I realise there's also this seme/uke debate happening, and - the hair, I know, but - it's not some sort of magical thing that if you take my hairtie out it's a free pass to MY ASS! And I DON'T have bright wobbly eyes, I DON'T have masochistic tendencies and I MOST DEFINITELY DO NOT HAVE THE ABILITY TO GET PREGNANT, THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME GOODBYE."
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Date: 2008-04-18 12:56 pm (UTC)Renji: "All right, I've seen the light, I know where I stand: the most tragedy-prone man in the thirteen divisions. Kira knows where he can stuff it. All he does is cry, if I so much as appear in a fic I have a 50% chance of NOT DYING! I never get the girl - or the boy - even if I did it's only the body never the heart, and if it's body and heart sure enough I'm dead at the end. And - I realise there's also this seme/uke debate happening, and - the hair, I know, but - it's not some sort of magical thing that if you take my hairtie out it's a free pass to MY ASS! And I DON'T have bright wobbly eyes, I DON'T have masochistic tendencies and I MOST DEFINITELY DO NOT HAVE THE ABILITY TO GET PREGNANT, THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME GOODBYE."
~ ♥