I feel like Gojyo (minus sex appeal, of course). I want to feel like Yaone. Does that make it better?
I have my own alarm bells dinging about this. I've poked my brain lots and I'm comfortable I'm not thinking this because anyone's criticised me or knocked me back for being too ungirly. Nobody's said they'd be interested if only I were more feminine. It's all coming from *me*.
I certainly hate the idea of standing around being *obviously* helpless, just to get attention. What I'm trying to address is somethig I started to talk about with Sue before moving; that I've been on my own (living alone, as much as being single) for so long that I've *had* to become thoroughly self-sufficient - and that shows in my general attitude and bearing. Coming across as "I don't need anybody" - which we agreed I could do - can be very offputting to people - I know what the "what would they ever see in me?" feeling is like, and I can accept that my independence could potentially induce it in others.
So there are two bits to this. The appearance thing, because I *want* to feel pretty, dammit, and the independence I Am A Rock bit, because I want to learn how to let people know I'm not totally happy on my own without looking needy & desperate.
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Date: 2008-01-29 04:26 pm (UTC)I feel like Gojyo (minus sex appeal, of course). I want to feel like Yaone. Does that make it better?
I have my own alarm bells dinging about this. I've poked my brain lots and I'm comfortable I'm not thinking this because anyone's criticised me or knocked me back for being too ungirly. Nobody's said they'd be interested if only I were more feminine. It's all coming from *me*.
I certainly hate the idea of standing around being *obviously* helpless, just to get attention. What I'm trying to address is somethig I started to talk about with Sue before moving; that I've been on my own (living alone, as much as being single) for so long that I've *had* to become thoroughly self-sufficient - and that shows in my general attitude and bearing. Coming across as "I don't need anybody" - which we agreed I could do - can be very offputting to people - I know what the "what would they ever see in me?" feeling is like, and I can accept that my independence could potentially induce it in others.
So there are two bits to this. The appearance thing, because I *want* to feel pretty, dammit, and the independence I Am A Rock bit, because I want to learn how to let people know I'm not totally happy on my own without looking needy & desperate.