Update & navel gazing
Oct. 3rd, 2005 06:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
puddingcatI'm going to base this on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
annwfyn's 4 pillars idea, cos it's handy.
Work.
I *think* I've come to the end of all my compulsory traiing for this year. Friday afternoon was a half day risk management seminar in London (the office is on More London Place, looking directly through the windows of HMS Belfast) - which would have been very useful if it hadn't all been available on the intranet. Ho hum; at least I got to have breakfast at Borough Market and lunch at Starbucks, and post-work alcohol withminspi and co-workers. Blimey, that boy can drink ;)
Didn't get the test drive (boo!) since JM wasn't back from "abroad".
Generally, I'm startign to feel as if 3 days isn't enough - which has to be good, albeit a little worrying :) I've been given some good stuff to do; producing comps fron scratch, amending Big Complicated things and producing accounts disclosures. All that would have been straightforward & dull 3 years ago, but it's nice to see I can still do it. I even managed to phone a client without having a panic attack...
Family.
Whoo.
I knew Mum had lost most of her hair. I didn't expect her to look like an 80 year old :( She still has a wispy bit on top, and a fringe round the back of her skull (a little like a baby orang utan, to use her words...). It wouldn't have been so bad if her hair wasn't as curly as Clarkson's, which means it sticks up instead of lying against her head.
Then Stepford Sister visited & cut it with Stepford Brother-in-Law's clippers. Mum now looks like a slightly overweight Belsen victim :(
Good news is, she was starting to perk up by the time I left. She spent 3 days in bed after the first Taxol dose, and was expecting to get up after about 2 1/2 days this time. 2 more doses and that'll be the chemo over & done with; then it'll be surgery early December and radiotherapy after Christmas. I'm so glad I've done this at postgrad level; it's quite scary enough knowing exactly what's going on at the subatomic level. I'd hate to be in the dark about it all.
She wants to see "Kinky Boots" when it comes out, and is re-reading "Good Omens", so is clearly better than you'd think to hear Dad talking about it all.
Friends.
I love my friends :) My mileage has doubled in the last couple of months, which sugests I'm seeing people more, and that's a Good Thing. Not just becasue I have some fantabulous friends, but also because I'm not noticing seeing them more... Yes, that is good, becasue this time last year, doubling my social activity would have exhausted me & left me in bed for 2 days.
I don't *think* I have anything planned at weekends until Whitby now. That's good, cos I can save up and possibly lose some of the tummy I've gained since April. I had a waist, once...
The blond ex is moving all his stuff into his fiancee's house atm; his house looks very empty without his DVD collection. At times, I get concerned that he's leaving a lot of his personality behind (he's a serious gamer geek) but then I remember how much he enjoys the middle class, comfortable life & stop worrying. He'll still game, will still collect DVD's - he just won't gather all the crap that goes with it :) No more lego Star Wars toys; instead, funky kitchen utensils. It isn't changing to suit someone else; it's growing up.
Relationships.
The theory is, I'm dating. The actuality is, I'm not. Hey ho.
Other stuff, crossovers and musings.
The London course was interesting from one point of view at least. It's convinced me that I wouldn't be happy working in London, even if they do get gym memberships, discouned restaurants & £10k more than the regions. The men are all either nerdy accountant types (1980s hairstyles, chinos, lambswool jumpers), or hairgelled wideboys who look as if they'd drive BMWs and call them "Beemers". The girls were all (except one) skeletally thin, with drastically highlighted hair, perfectly plucked eyebrows, perfect french manicures and the pointiest shoes I've ever seen. The normal girl was *completely* ignored by all the others.
Compare that to the Manchester office. We have around a 50:50 divide between "comfortable" types, who are either middle aged & have families, or are the jolly Girl Guider style who have no truck with this dieting lark and who aren't embarrassed to talk about cats & cross stitch, and the glamorous trainees who are gym devotees, wear Karen Millen & Jimmy Choo, and have HUGE (yet tasteful) engagement rings despite being under 25. Then there's me...
But at least I can be me and still get talked to here. I get the feeling I'm the others' "strange friend from work", who they can shock their friends & family with at work parties. It's not too bad, really :)
Then there's this "12 babes of Christmas" thing. I know who nominated me, so I'm not all excited about having a Sooper Sekrit Admiror, and I've accepted on the basis that every vote I get is one more than I'd expect. I sent in a few of the photos thatkarohemd took, but still have to choose one to be the "main" thing on the voting page. The problem is going to be finding one that gets me votes. It may not be a strictly 18-rated thing, but there's a lot of nudity going on there. I'm not going to win, but it would be nice to do better than some of the other people I know who've been nominated (it is a competition, after all...) and I've started thinking that, fantastic though the photos might be, they're still of me. And I'm just not as pretty / stunning / attractive / sexy / whatever as many of the other nominees.
I know that, in the geek / gaming crowd, being overweight is much more acceptable than in many other social circles (such as the office). So I can understand when I see the oft-repeated "I'm fat 'n' ugly!"; "It doesn't matter!" / "No you aren't!" posts & replies. The thing is, (the thing is...) that, just because there's a higher percentage of overweight people in a certain social group, the protestations of that group doesn't change the preferences of all the other groups. So I'm probably slightly slimmer than the average female gamer, but that doesn't mean I'm a healthy weight (I'm borderline overweight, going by the scales, my BMI and waist:hip ratio). Nor does having a few people in my social circle saying I look ok mean that I'll automatically think I'm hot; I work with many, many people who are slimmer, prettier and better turned out (in short, who get the whole "Girl Thing") than me. So, while I can (at least) now accept compliments & (usually) believe that people mean them, the vast majority of People I Know disagree with the complimenter.
And I've sorted out the first of my six free counselling sessions, to try & tidy up the remaining Issues from thedavywavy situation. Who knows, maybe one day I'll agree with someone who tells me I'm hot? Until then, stories of grotesque mishaps befallng the CJTC will be gratefully received ;)
And Jasper has just sat on my lap for a good, hard shoulder scratch, and left his tongue sticking out :)
And I've discovered how fab New Model Army are. Why has it taken me so long? I have "Eight", "Impurity", and "No Rest For The Wicked", and love them all.
annwfyn's 4 pillars idea, cos it's handy.Work.
I *think* I've come to the end of all my compulsory traiing for this year. Friday afternoon was a half day risk management seminar in London (the office is on More London Place, looking directly through the windows of HMS Belfast) - which would have been very useful if it hadn't all been available on the intranet. Ho hum; at least I got to have breakfast at Borough Market and lunch at Starbucks, and post-work alcohol with
minspi and co-workers. Blimey, that boy can drink ;)Didn't get the test drive (boo!) since JM wasn't back from "abroad".
Generally, I'm startign to feel as if 3 days isn't enough - which has to be good, albeit a little worrying :) I've been given some good stuff to do; producing comps fron scratch, amending Big Complicated things and producing accounts disclosures. All that would have been straightforward & dull 3 years ago, but it's nice to see I can still do it. I even managed to phone a client without having a panic attack...
Family.
Whoo.
I knew Mum had lost most of her hair. I didn't expect her to look like an 80 year old :( She still has a wispy bit on top, and a fringe round the back of her skull (a little like a baby orang utan, to use her words...). It wouldn't have been so bad if her hair wasn't as curly as Clarkson's, which means it sticks up instead of lying against her head.
Then Stepford Sister visited & cut it with Stepford Brother-in-Law's clippers. Mum now looks like a slightly overweight Belsen victim :(
Good news is, she was starting to perk up by the time I left. She spent 3 days in bed after the first Taxol dose, and was expecting to get up after about 2 1/2 days this time. 2 more doses and that'll be the chemo over & done with; then it'll be surgery early December and radiotherapy after Christmas. I'm so glad I've done this at postgrad level; it's quite scary enough knowing exactly what's going on at the subatomic level. I'd hate to be in the dark about it all.
She wants to see "Kinky Boots" when it comes out, and is re-reading "Good Omens", so is clearly better than you'd think to hear Dad talking about it all.
Friends.
I love my friends :) My mileage has doubled in the last couple of months, which sugests I'm seeing people more, and that's a Good Thing. Not just becasue I have some fantabulous friends, but also because I'm not noticing seeing them more... Yes, that is good, becasue this time last year, doubling my social activity would have exhausted me & left me in bed for 2 days.
I don't *think* I have anything planned at weekends until Whitby now. That's good, cos I can save up and possibly lose some of the tummy I've gained since April. I had a waist, once...
The blond ex is moving all his stuff into his fiancee's house atm; his house looks very empty without his DVD collection. At times, I get concerned that he's leaving a lot of his personality behind (he's a serious gamer geek) but then I remember how much he enjoys the middle class, comfortable life & stop worrying. He'll still game, will still collect DVD's - he just won't gather all the crap that goes with it :) No more lego Star Wars toys; instead, funky kitchen utensils. It isn't changing to suit someone else; it's growing up.
Relationships.
The theory is, I'm dating. The actuality is, I'm not. Hey ho.
Other stuff, crossovers and musings.
The London course was interesting from one point of view at least. It's convinced me that I wouldn't be happy working in London, even if they do get gym memberships, discouned restaurants & £10k more than the regions. The men are all either nerdy accountant types (1980s hairstyles, chinos, lambswool jumpers), or hairgelled wideboys who look as if they'd drive BMWs and call them "Beemers". The girls were all (except one) skeletally thin, with drastically highlighted hair, perfectly plucked eyebrows, perfect french manicures and the pointiest shoes I've ever seen. The normal girl was *completely* ignored by all the others.
Compare that to the Manchester office. We have around a 50:50 divide between "comfortable" types, who are either middle aged & have families, or are the jolly Girl Guider style who have no truck with this dieting lark and who aren't embarrassed to talk about cats & cross stitch, and the glamorous trainees who are gym devotees, wear Karen Millen & Jimmy Choo, and have HUGE (yet tasteful) engagement rings despite being under 25. Then there's me...
But at least I can be me and still get talked to here. I get the feeling I'm the others' "strange friend from work", who they can shock their friends & family with at work parties. It's not too bad, really :)
Then there's this "12 babes of Christmas" thing. I know who nominated me, so I'm not all excited about having a Sooper Sekrit Admiror, and I've accepted on the basis that every vote I get is one more than I'd expect. I sent in a few of the photos that
karohemd took, but still have to choose one to be the "main" thing on the voting page. The problem is going to be finding one that gets me votes. It may not be a strictly 18-rated thing, but there's a lot of nudity going on there. I'm not going to win, but it would be nice to do better than some of the other people I know who've been nominated (it is a competition, after all...) and I've started thinking that, fantastic though the photos might be, they're still of me. And I'm just not as pretty / stunning / attractive / sexy / whatever as many of the other nominees. I know that, in the geek / gaming crowd, being overweight is much more acceptable than in many other social circles (such as the office). So I can understand when I see the oft-repeated "I'm fat 'n' ugly!"; "It doesn't matter!" / "No you aren't!" posts & replies. The thing is, (the thing is...) that, just because there's a higher percentage of overweight people in a certain social group, the protestations of that group doesn't change the preferences of all the other groups. So I'm probably slightly slimmer than the average female gamer, but that doesn't mean I'm a healthy weight (I'm borderline overweight, going by the scales, my BMI and waist:hip ratio). Nor does having a few people in my social circle saying I look ok mean that I'll automatically think I'm hot; I work with many, many people who are slimmer, prettier and better turned out (in short, who get the whole "Girl Thing") than me. So, while I can (at least) now accept compliments & (usually) believe that people mean them, the vast majority of People I Know disagree with the complimenter.
And I've sorted out the first of my six free counselling sessions, to try & tidy up the remaining Issues from the
davywavy situation. Who knows, maybe one day I'll agree with someone who tells me I'm hot? Until then, stories of grotesque mishaps befallng the CJTC will be gratefully received ;)And Jasper has just sat on my lap for a good, hard shoulder scratch, and left his tongue sticking out :)
And I've discovered how fab New Model Army are. Why has it taken me so long? I have "Eight", "Impurity", and "No Rest For The Wicked", and love them all.
